FUNNY QUOTES

Money can't buy happiness but it can
certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
******************
Friendship is like peeing on yourself
everyone can see it but only you get
the warm feeling that it brings.
******************
A dog is the only thing on earth that
loves you more than you love
yourself.
******************
I like to walk in folg.because nobody
call me charsi....
******************
There is a place you can touch a
woman that will drive her crazy. Her
heart.
******************
Women marry men hoping they will
change Men marry women hoping
they will not So each iz inevitably
disappointed.
*************
I am so clever that sometimes I don't
understand a single word of what I
am saying.
*************
If you can not convince them confuse
them.
*************
A bachelor iz a selfish undeserving
guy who haz cheated some woman
out of a divorce..
*************
Never insult an alligator until after u
hav crossed da river...
*************
Time is a great teacher, but
unfortunately it kills all its pupils ...
*************
Every fight is a food fight when
you're a cannibal.
*************
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm
not ready for an institution yet
*************
Men are like parking spots, the good
ones are taken and the free ones are
handicapped.
*************
Always end the name of your child
with a vowel, so that when you yell
the name will carry.
*************
He who knows that enough is
enough will always have enough.
*************
Girls are like phones. We love to be
held, talked too but if you press the
wrong button you'll be disconnected.
*************
If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if
it's sent by road then it's a shipment.
*************
There are no stupid questions, just
stupid people.
*************
It is better to b beautiful than to be
good, bt it is better to be good than
to be ugly.
*************
Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff.
*************
I put all my genius into my life; I put
only my talent into my works.
*************
Love is like a booger. U keep picking at
it until u get it, then wonder wat 2 do
with it.
*************
Women ll never b as successful as
men becoz they have no wives 2
advise them.
*************
In America any boy may become
President & I suppose its just one of
the risks he takes.
*************
Money cant buy happiness bt it can
certainly rent it 4 a couple of hours.
*************
Sex is nature, and I believe in going
along with nature.
*************
A gentleman iz a man who can play da
accordion bt doesn't.
*************
A conclusion iz da place where u got
tired of thinking.
*************
A compromise iz an agreement
whereby both partiez get wat neither
of them wanted.
*************
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